Yes, It Begins. . .
September 20, 2009 JerseyGrins
The kids in New Jersey have been in school for several weeks now. And so, it all starts.
“What starts?” you say.
The chaos-and-grumbling episodes start.
You first notice that your son’s backpack is expanding like a container of Jiffy Pop. A sour, musky smell wafts out. Against your better judgment, you dump the contents. You discover a ten day-old container of banana yogurt, vibrant with moldy blues and greens. Next, you pull out tightly wadded-up gym clothes, red plaid boxers, and one aqua sock with lace on it. Boxers? Whose boxers? And, more importantly, whose sock? Then, you hit the mother load. You find a pile of mushy notes in the bottom of the pack—from teachers, the PTA, and assorted girls. Note One: you have missed a vital PTA meeting regarding gift wrap sales. Note Two: you have missed a vital PTA meeting regarding the content of hot dogs in the school cafeteria. Note Three: Mrs. Harding, your son’s seventh grade teacher, states: “Please note: Jason has received five yellow tickets this week.” “Is this good or bad?” you wonder. Note Four: Mrs. Harding regrets to inform you that “. . . Jason is not working up to his potential and is extremely social.” That’s news? Note Five: Lorie writes, “I heart you!” Note Six: Stacey writes, “I heart you!” Ok, Lorie and Stacey, back off. Go “heart” some other kid. This is my son you’re talking about. You decide that ignorance is indeed bliss. You dunk the morass of notes into the trash.
Next, the grumbling begins. One morning, you visit with Jason as he eats his lovingly-prepared oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Between mouthfuls, you hear it from your son. Boy, do you hear it.
“I don’t know HOW the school expects us to get up so early and function properly. Don’t they understand that we teens have special circadian rhythms? We need to start school at ten o’clock! And HOW am I supposed to survive on a slice of pizza, limp broccoli, and canned cling peaches? I need some decent brown rice to properly bulk up for my weight training. And this homework load! What’s up with this busy work? Quadratic equations? WHEN am I going to use that in my REAL life?”
Jason starts to rev up like a preacher at a Wednesday night tent revival.
“And you know what? My science teacher actually took off seven points on Friday’s test because of SPELLING ERRORS. Spelling isn’t supposed to count in science class! And did you know that we have to build a bridge that weighs only 100 grams? But it has to support 100 pounds. This is ridiculous!” Jason finally takes a breath.
He should become a Shakespearian actor.
“When is the bridge due?” I calmly ask the Drama Queen.
“Thursday,” he whines between gulps of apple juice.
Oh, great. Today is Tuesday. So it begins.
Entry Filed under: Grins and Giggles
1. Lana Rae Higgins&hellip | September 21, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Loved it. Keep them coming.!!!
KC Fan
2. Lana Rae Higgins&hellip | September 21, 2009 at 11:31 pm
I may know the young person who is the inspiration for this cute article.
Keep up the good work.
KC Fan
3. wahstanaj&hellip | September 22, 2009 at 8:42 am
Patrick Patrick Patrick!!!