Ya Gotta Hate Mondays!
September 29, 2009 JerseyGrins
It was a great weekend!
On Saturday, I shoot hoops with my son Michael, the basketball bouncing into scattered piles of leaves. He skillfully performs a lay-up to the hoop, and it’s in! Victory shines in his thirteen year-old eyes. My status moves from that of a parental unit, homework-checker and ATM to that of “Dad”. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Later that night, my wife and I share a wonderful New York strip steak dinner with friends that go back twenty years. My steak drips with a delicate bourbon sauce, and the crème brulée is crunchy and creamy. Heaven in a cup, I call it. Thank goodness calories never stick on a Saturday night.
Sunday I bound out of the house dressed in my spiffy new black running tights and jacket trimmed with red, reflective Gortex. I jog along Hillcrest road, breathing in the sunny crispness that hints of a coming spring. I ignore the little hot spots creeping all over my left foot.
Monday morning comes with an annoying 5:30 “beep beep beep” of the alarm clock. I stagger downstairs, only to find that some fool forgot to set the coffee pot the night before. The pot stares at me blankly, cold and empty of the liquid gold I want.
At 6:40 I’m on I-78 heading east. Actually, “heading” is a bit of an exaggeration. I inch forward a few feet, pick at my cuticles, and peer in my rear-view mirror. A huge semi truck is five feet behind my ecologically small car. One good sneeze from the truck driver and I’m an ecologically flat pancake. The driver honks at me impatiently. “What?!” I scream inwardly. “All lanes are packed. Where are you gonna go??” I pass the time by watching the sea of eastward-bound humanity around me. The guy next to me in the black BMW is pecking at his BlackBerry as well as reading the Wall Street Journal. Yes, but does he own a cool black and red jogging outfit? There’s a lady in front of me working a Soduku puzzle. Man, it’s a big one and she’s almost done. I guess she’s already put on her mascara.
I’m at work now, taking a circuitous route to my hamster cage so my manager won’t know I’m fifteen minutes late. I quickly stir up the papers on my desk, scatter pencils, turn on the computer, and grab a large file folder so I look like I’m on an urgent mission. I get diverted a few seconds by Jim, the accounting analyst in the cubicle two doors over. He wants to tell me his latest joke: something about a dog named Sonny, a Big Mac, and the Kansas University basketball team.
Onward to the cafeteria. My left foot’s hot spots have turned into three screaming blisters. A muscle in my right posterior tweaks every time I take a step. Funny—I never knew I had a muscle there. At last—a big cup of steaming hot coffee and a bagel. The day is looking up.
Back in my cubicle, I start on the day’s project—3rd quarter goals. The hot java surges through my veins. Maybe Monday won’t be so bad after all. I bite off a big chunk of blueberry bagel and enthusiastically key in data into the goal software system, aptly named “Achieve It!” “Fatal Error!” the system retorts back to me. I sigh and look down at my bagel—the only redeeming aspect to my Monday right now. I look again. One of the blueberries is wriggling. It looks like it’s doing the backstroke. Hey, that’s not a blueberry. And it’s only half of—
Ya gotta hate Mondays.
Entry Filed under: Grins and Giggles and tagged: it's Monday. Read on., Ok
1. Tnelson&hellip | October 1, 2009 at 1:15 am
Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so, Excellent post!
2. wahstanaj&hellip | October 5, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback. More coming!